Polly Again!

Well, it has been a rough few days around the Sellars home for me. Polly my alter ego has been here. As many of you know from previous blogs...She is EVIL!!!! Of course the girls were out of school on Thursday and we had no Aide for Sloan..(did I mention my back is aching?) Then on Saturday no Aide again! How did I do this for 9 years? I feel so damn old and broke down. Not to mention I even used to work 3-4 nights a week, 12 hour shifts at that! So Polly was bound to show up. I take a whole lot, a whole lot. When I break, look out. I have been evil, Jackie O' if it weren't for you I would be in the Parthenon. Today we had 2 Aides. What a relief. I Thank God for these ladies. Kudos to Lindsy, Jannie and new Mommy Amanda! Yes, Amanda delivered Asante Joseph on Friday. He is precious. Lindsy took the girls to the park and Myron treated us all to Chinese. A great time was had by all.
Good news..My sugar is doing great. I am on the new U-500 insulin and it is working so well. No sugars over 160 in 2 weeks. I have only crawled to the kitchen a few times in the middle of the night. I hope I can keep it under control. I hope my belly heals from all the bruising from my pump. Please continue to pray for me as I continue to strive to conquer this disease, I have let it control me for way too long.
I have subbed alot at Watauga and have really enjoyed it. I love kids and even my kids are not there, my friends kids are and it is such a joy to see them. My kids are adjusting much better to SMS. We went for parent /teacher conference on Thursday and I could not be prouder. All of the teacher's went on and on about what nice, polite, and intelligent girls I have. I am proud of them and feel very fortunate. I am not so sure they like me these days. I hated this age growing up. Ten to thirteen was awkward. I just want them to be grateful for what they have, and appreciate things.
I miss my Poppy lately. I haven't seen him in a few months and I miss him. I talk to him everyday, but it is not the same. I long for us to do things together and spend quality time together. Life just never goes the way I plan sometimes. He is my HERO and he knows how much I love him. Chance called this week. He is doing great in school. Now that is a boy I love.
He cheers me up. He is like a breathe of fresh air.
I have realized lately that I spend way too much time worrying over the wrong things. I need to be more focused on myself and family. I tend to worry about everyone except myself....who worries about me??? Not even half of the ones I worry about I promise you. I talked to an old friend this last week. We at one time were related by marriage. I called to tell her happy Birthday. She called me back, and we chatted for awhile and she began to sob....she said Holly I owe you the biggest apology ever. I said why? She said you have never once forgotten my B-day in 25 years. You have been the best friend I could ever ask for, and I have not done the same in return. I began to sob myself. If it is anything that I have learned over the years, it is that if I give you my friendship, I give it 100% and unconditionally.